Lesson One: A Clean Kitchen is a Happy Kitchen

Have you ever had to cook in a dirty kitchen? Sweeping aside crumbs on the corner, seeing the two-foot-high pile of dishes in the sink, and stepping on heaven-knows-what really throws off the wonderful vibe that cooking can provide. My advice is to take a little time before your cooking project to tidy up. It'll make everything a lot easier and safer.

Step 1. Do the Dishes! Even if you weren't the one that dirtied them in the first place, it'll be nice to start with a clean slate before you have to pile even more stuff in the sink. Also, you don't have to spend ten minutes frantically looking for your fine-bladed grater only to find that it's in the bottom of the drain encrusted with yesterday's Gruyere.

Step 2. Sink, Counters and Stove. Now that your sink is empty, use some abrasive Comet to get all the germs out so you don't have to worry when washing produce or poultry (if you are washing poultry, or any meat, disinfect the sink before and immediately after!). Use an antibacterial spray cleaner on the counters and stovetop, followed by a clean wet sponge. Finally, don't get chemicals on the food. If you don't need to disinfect, but simply wipe up, a spray bottle filled with vinegar works wonders, and it's non-toxic!

Step 3. Floors! This is really my favorite part. Nothing is more fun to me than blasting my "Very Best of Cher" CD and scouring the floors on a Saturday night when nobody else is home. I like to use a sponge mop and a scrub brush and either Pine Sol or Parson's Ammonia. You might feel like Bambi on Ice for a while on your hands and knees before you get balanced, but once you get used to the lack of friction, you can work some pretty sweet dance moves with your mop. A word of warning: though open windows are recommended (so the floor will dry faster and you won't die from any fumes), the music and the smell might attract men, so be prepared.

Finally, your kitchen is clean and sparkly! Now have fun cooking and messing it all up again.